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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24281617">All Those Summers Ago</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangersophia/pseuds/strangersophia'>strangersophia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RuPaul's Drag Race RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Based on the song 'Oh GOD' by Orla Gartland, College AU, F/F, Lesbian AU, Songfic, gay gay gay! you're gay!, somewhat slow burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:21:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24281617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangersophia/pseuds/strangersophia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>--------------<br/>"I look at you and I know how I felt<br/>All those summers ago, then I swore not to tell<br/>I'm swallowed up by this Catholic guilt<br/>Oh, God. "<br/>-------------<br/>When a familiar face moves to Crystal's hometown for college, she feels something she hasn't felt in years. Something - or, someone - that she wants more than anything.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Summer Sweetheart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> I look at you and I know how I felt </em>
</p><p>
  <em> All those summers ago, then I swore not to tell </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I'm swallowed up by this Catholic guilt </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Oh, God  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>When Crystal was sixteen years old, her parents sent her to a summer camp ‘for Christian girls’. And it was about as <em> ‘Christian’ </em>as you’d expect from a group of teenage girls whose parents felt the need to send them on a summer camp. For Crystal, it gave her the first opportunity she ever had to kiss a girl. She could remember every detail- the way the air had felt on the cool night inside their cabins, the way her hands shook when she touched the waist of the girl in front of her, and the way her heart almost flew out of her chest. Most of all, she remembered every detail of Gigi. She could recall the first time she ever saw her on their first day at the camp- her blonde hair perfectly kept in a high ponytail, blue eyes gleaming as they stole glances at each other from across the campsite. The way she would smile, and it made Crystal feel something she wasn’t quite sure she understood. Every conversation they had at camp stuck around in Crystal’s mind, retained so she could go back and relive them every now and then. Especially from the night they kissed.</p><p> </p><p>It was the last day of camp, and everyone was in the main hall watching some movie that nobody was particularly interested in. Gigi and Crystal took it upon themselves to sneak out of the hall and back to their cabins, holding hands as they hurriedly made their way across the campsite in fits of giggles. The next hour was spent with them lying on their backs side by side, discussing everything from TV shows to the theory of evolution. And at some point, Crystal’s head ended up on Gigi’s chest. And Gigi’s fingers ended up twisted in Crystal’s curly red hair. And before either of them knew it, their lips found each other’s and didn’t pull apart until they heard the cacophony of voices approaching the cabin. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If I always do what I'm told </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I'll be bitter at fifty years old </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I wasted my youth </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Wasted my time </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Wasted my worry on the little things </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The weeks after summer camp were spent with text conversations hidden under covers- Crystal telling her parents that she was simply calling a school friend to help with homework, when in reality she spent hours staring into the eyes of a girl she had, quite frankly, fallen for. And Gigi did the same- telling every one of her friends that camp had been nothing special, and the time that she spent texting a missouri mobile number was just some distant cousin she had suddenly taken an interest in contacting. </p><p> </p><p>But it all came crashing down the day that Crystal’s parents found out the truth. Crystal never forgave herself for her lack of thought the day that she left her messages with Gigi logged in on their family computer, causing an entire night of yelling and punishment. And she still never understood why her parents did it. Why they decided to try and <em> fix </em> her, forcing her to break contact with Gigi and never allowed her to go to a female friends’ house again. Why they told her she was broken, put her through a hell that she never found herself fully recovered from. And broke Gigi in the process.<br/>
<br/>
After going a full week with no contact from Crystal, Gigi gave up hope. Part of her wished that Crystal had changed her mind and decided to hate her- because she knew all too well what the case really was. And she blamed herself for it every day. Gigi went through the rest of her high school years filling her insecurities with worthless hookups, jumping between boys she never loved and forcing herself to play the girl that didn’t feel a thing, in fear of ruining someone else’s life. Of course, Crystal never blamed Gigi for a thing. But she never had a way to tell her. So Gigi turned to stone, plastering smiles over the cracks in her confidence left from leaving her passions in the past. And she buried the memories of Crystal deep somewhere she could only find if she looked hard enough, on days when she needed something to fill the emptiness she couldn’t seem to get rid of. And maybe, when she applied to go to college in Missouri, there was something in those memories that told her to do so. But she would never admit it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I'm just trying to shake off the shame </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When I'm wearing nothing but blame </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Not easy, cause when I close my eyes </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I just think of touching you </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Crystal never really expected that she would end up going to college in Missouri. She had always dreamt of moving away from home, starting fresh and finding a new life. But when the time eventually came, she couldn’t bring herself to up and leave. Luckily, she did get to move out of home- packing her things and moving into the confines of a college dorm room. Little did she know that down the corridor, the girl that lived only in her memories was moving in at the same time as her.</p><p> </p><p>It took a week before the two crossed paths for the first time. It happened one day after a lecture when Crystal decided to take a detour back to her room, passing by the library building to pick up one of the books she needed. And as she browsed the aisles, she noticed a tall girl in the arts section, wearing a long blue dress with stunning blonde hair, pulled into a perfect high ponytail. Crystal found herself staring, and couldn’t help but let herself be reminded of Gigi. Which is why she was sure she imagined it when the girl turned around and had Gigi’s face. It must have been- the way the ponytail almost floated through the air as she whipped around, the blue eyes, the smile. <em> Oh God, the smile. </em>Whether they had made eye contact or not, Crystal had no idea- she turned and paced towards the door of the library before she had a chance to process any part of the fleeting moment. What she did know, however, was that whoever that girl was had made her feel something. </p><p> </p><p>Something she hadn’t felt since she was sixteen. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I look at her and I know how I felt </em>
</p><p>
  <em> All those summers ago, then I swore not to tell </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Gigi wished she had forgotten Crystal. It would be easier than whatever she felt when she saw her in the library. As much as she tried to play it off, tell herself she was insane and refuse to let herself think about it any further, she knew what she had seen. The same girl that she spent half her teenage years trying to repress the memories of, forcing herself to face the reality that she would never see her again. And yet, there she was. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until Gigi turned back around that she was snapped back into reality, meeting the eyes of her boyfriend.</p><p>“Babe, you good? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”</p><p>She tried to laugh it off, brushing the shock off her face. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about all the assignments I have due.” </p><p>But she couldn’t deny the way her eyes trailed to the door of the library, hoping to catch another glimpse of the girl who had just made her way out. </p><p> </p><p>When Crystal got back to her dorm room, the first thing she did was throw herself onto her bed, grabbing her phone out of her pocket. At the time that her parents had made her distance from Gigi, she made an effort to block her on all the social media she could find. Despite it being almost 3 years since it had happened, Crystal had never unblocked her, or even tried to find her online. She did it for herself, really. She knew that if she saw one photo of her, it would be impossible to stop herself from falling down the rabbit hole of torture knowing she couldn’t have Gigi in her life. So when Crystal typed Gigi’s name into Instagram, she wasn’t surprised when the only profile she found was still blocked- just as she had left it. But Crystal’s curiosity took over as she nervously pressed the unblock button, revealing a flood of photos dating all the way back to a year before they even met. Crystal noticed the most recent post on Gigi’s page- a photo of the college campus, the same one Crystal was on right that moment. Confirming her suspicions only made her heart beat faster, as she continued to scroll through posts trying to figure out what she had missed out on in the past few years. Reaching a phase from two years back where Gigi seemed to have dyed her hair red for a few months, she accidentally liked one of the photos.</p><p> </p><p>Shit.</p><p> </p><p>Unliking it immediately, Crystal blocked Gigi once again and put her phone down for the rest of the night. Trying her best to calm herself, she put in her headphones and tried to go over class notes from earlier that day. But it couldn’t stop her pounding heart, or the pictures of Gigi burned in the back of her mind that taunted her, practically asking to bring her back into her life. It wasn’t until Crystal heard a knock on her door that she was jolted out of her spiralling thoughts, leaping up to see who the hell would be coming to <em> her </em> dorm room in the second week of her being at college. When she opened the door, however, there was no one outside. Stepping out into the corridor and looking left and right to see if anyone was nearby, she noticed a post-it note stuck right in the middle of her door, bright pink with black loopy handwriting littering the paper. It read, ‘ <em> It’s me, Gigi. I want to see you. Meet me at the fountain behind West Residence Hall at 11pm tonight.’  </em></p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em> Not easy, 'cause when I close my eyes </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I just think of touching you </em>
</p><p>
  <em> This can't be easy on his side </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Laying there motionless each night </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Gigi wasn’t sure what was going through her mind as she walked away from Crystal’s door. She wasn’t even particularly sure why she thought leaving that note was a good idea in the first place. All she knew is that when her boyfriend had taken her back to his room that day and kissed all over her body for what felt like an eternity, she couldn’t get Crystal out of her mind. It was strange, letting herself think about <em> her </em>. For years, she had pushed the thought away every time it threatened to resurface. But something about seeing her again, right in front of her, it lit a spark. One that started a fire, that engulfed her mind as she lay on the bed of a boy she had only agreed to date barely a month ago. Maybe it was the image in her mind of Crystal’s curly auburn hair that resembled a forest fire when it glowed in the afternoon sun. Or maybe it was the fact that when she opened her phone for the first time that afternoon, she noticed a notification she never thought she would see again. It was Crystal. And she had liked a photo of Gigi with her bright red hair from her junior year of high school, and something about that seemed like a sign. So she left her boyfriend’s room with the feeling she would never go back in there again, and went to find the registration list that would tell her where each girl on campus was staying. Finding Crystal’s room wasn’t hard, considering she was on the first section of the list she checked- the section that just so happened to be the same corridor she resided in, at the very end of the hall. </p><p> </p><p>Crystal spent the rest of the evening more unsettled than she had ever been. She couldn’t stop picking up the post-it note, analysing every curl and line of the handwriting, staring at the letters until they didn’t make sense anymore. Gigi Goode, the girl she kissed at sixteen years old and never saw again, was here. And she wanted to talk to her. Crystal couldn’t help but wonder if it was someone at her new college playing a cruel prank, digging deep into what would hurt Crystal most just for a laugh. But Crystal had never told anyone about Gigi. Not even her friends back in Missouri. It wasn’t particularly because of the fact they would find out she was gay- they knew that already. Crystal just loved the idea of having Gigi to herself. As her secret, that she could always count on being hers and only hers. Well, and Gigi’s. Even though Crystal had been so sure that Gigi would have forgotten about her years ago, making the post-it note all the more confusing to her. But all the doubts in her mind couldn’t stop her from turning up where the note asked her to at exactly 10:58pm, shivering in the night breeze as she looked around, waiting for Gigi. Or whoever left that note on the door, anyway.</p><p> </p><p> At 11:05 she had almost given up. But just as she turned around to make her way back to her room, letting out a defeated sigh,</p><p> </p><p>She saw her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. And A Plate of Waffles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ok i've decided that it's better off posting shorter chapters more frequently rather than longer chapters every now and then, so expect some more frequent updates from now on! Also decided to stop using lyrics in this chapter because ~it didn't feel right~, maybe they will return later on :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Silence fell between the two girls, feeling like it rang out for years. Crystal felt as if her life had been put on freeze as she took in the figure standing in front of her, fixated on the way that the moonlight reflected in Gigi’s light blue eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crystal. Hi.” Gigi spoke so quietly that Crystal almost missed it over the sound of the water fountain behind them. Crystal opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crystal? Listen, if you’re not gonna talk to me then I’ll just leave, this was probably a mistake anyway, I just thought-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Gigi! I’m sorry, it’s just… a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Gigi looked down at her shoes, trying to figure out if she regretted her choices or not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H-how are you?” Crystal attempted to somehow break the tension.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine. I think.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, there’s been a lot of changes in my life recently. It’s pretty overwhelming.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crystal nodded in reply. “Yeah, I get that.” There was another long moment of silence before Gigi spoke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you wanna go for a walk?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To where?” Crystal laughed. “It’s the middle of the night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The Waffle House down the road is open 24 hours. You want waffles?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It seemed like such an out of the blue suggestion until it hit Crystal - Gigi had remembered Crystal’s favourite food was waffles. After all these years. She remembered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Always.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The two walked side by side out of the campus, neither of them sparking a conversation until they got to the end of the road.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, what brought you to Missouri then?” Crystal asked nervously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know, to be honest. I applied for colleges all over the place, and this is just where I ended up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s cool.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gigi giggled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, what’s funny about that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just cute how you think Missouri is cool.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crystal laughed, feigning a large gasp directed at Gigi.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Missouri </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> cool!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, if you like tornadoes and meth.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you came here for some reason.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Some reason.” Gigi said with a tone that Crystal couldn’t quite decipher.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They walked into the Waffle House finally, being swallowed in the fluorescent white glow of the lights. There were only two other people inside, both of them waitresses that looked like they wanted to be anywhere but there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Looks like it’s just us.” Gigi said quietly, leading Crystal to a booth at the back of the restaurant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they sat down, Gigi looked into Crystal’s eyes properly for the first time since they met up. She couldn’t help but admire the freckles that covered her nose and cheeks, seemingly more than she remembered there being. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gigi? Why are you staring at me?” Crystal shook her out of her trance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just so interesting to see you. It’s like I’m sixteen again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crystal felt butterflies rising in her stomach, but tried her best not to think about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both of the girls ordered excessive amounts of waffles when the waitress came over to them. And as they sat and waited for their order to arrive, Gigi brought up what Crystal was really hoping had gone unnoticed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I saw that you, uh, liked one of my photos on Instagram.” Gigi said without looking up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god Gigi that was a mistake I’m so sorry I was just trying to see if it was you and-” Crystal rambled before Gigi cut her off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Crys, jeez.” The nickname made Crystal’s heart jump for a second. “I was just… wondering why you never tried to contact me before,” Gigi almost whispered, “I mean, I think I know why you ignored me initially." Crystal's face dropped as she thought about what had happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But why did you never try to get in touch again?” Gigi continued.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Crystal took a moment to try and figure out the words she wanted to say, but it still came out all jumbled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, I- it was really just- I didn’t know if you hated me. I felt horrible, knowing I had just ghosted you like that. Because I had to. And I never thought you would forgive me for that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gigi could admit to herself that for the first year they spent apart, she couldn’t forgive Crystal. But after a while, she came to terms with the fact it had never been her fault. Still, it couldn’t stop her from feeling hurt. So she would never have reached out to Crystal, even though there was always a small part of her that wished she had.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Crystal, I would never hate you for that. In fact, I thought you were the one that hated me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Crystal sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, you don’t hate me, do you?” Gigi asked, suddenly panicked.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Gigi, no! Of course not! And I spent years wishing that I could tell you. But I was scared, you can’t blame me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I don’t blame you.” Gigi noticed the hurt behind Crystal’s eyes as they stayed quiet for a second. “Are you okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m okay. Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just… I don’t know what you went through. But I hope it’s better now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A small smile crept over Crystal’s face, and Gigi placed a hand gingerly on her knee under the table.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Thanks, Gigi.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They spent an hour demolishing plates of waffles, catching up on surface level stuff like what they’re studying and what colours they’ve dyed their hair. It reached 12:30am before either of them thought about going back to their rooms to sleep for the day ahead of them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess we should probably get back to campus.” Crystal said, taking the last sip of the strawberry milkshake she had ordered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, guess so.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The walk back to campus was as quiet as the walk there, neither of them knowing what to say as they knew they were soon to depart. Crystal had no idea what she even wanted to happen next- as much as she wanted to somehow rekindle a friendship with Gigi, she didn’t know if she would be able to handle repressing the feelings that she knew hadn’t gone away. The lingering feeling of Gigi touching her knee had stuck with her the whole night, and as uselessly gay as it was, she couldn’t stop thinking about the way it tied her stomach in knots. They reached the door to their hall, staying quiet as possible to not wake up everyone around them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” Crystal started as they came to her door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was nice to see you, Crystal.” Gigi whispered. “I’m sure I’ll see you around. Hope you sleep well.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And before Crystal knew it, Gigi had disappeared into her room for the night, leaving the faintest smell of her perfume in the hall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ll see you around?’</span>
  </em>
  <span> Crystal repeated in her head as she flopped down onto her bed, kicking off her boots. The whole meeting felt like some sort of fever dream to her. The girl she was enamored with for years - the one she never thought she would see again - had taken her to a Waffle House at midnight only to act almost as if nothing had happened and then say “I’ll see you around?” Whatever kind of fuckery this was, it kept Crystal up all night. And what she didn’t know was that just down the hallway, Gigi couldn’t sleep either. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, feedback is appreciated! And you can follow me/message me on twitter @aquariaskiwi and tumblr @thegoodeplace &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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